How did this happen? It just hit me yesterday that in just over three weeks, my baby boy is starting school! Not preschool either. The big K. Kindergarten. He'll be gone all day, 5 days a week, just like his daddy. How did my baby, the one who changed my world, who can make me cry just because he's crying, grow up? I know it's supposed to happen. I knew it was going to happen. But how did it happen so fast? Wasn't I looking? Watching? Planning for it? Even occasionally looking forward to it?
What can I do about it? I guess I'll try to enjoy the "extra" time that I'll have with Youngest Boy and Baby Girl. I'll give them more attention while he's gone and then pay extra attention to him while he's home. I'll try to look on the bright side: He'll be making friends (Please, God, let him have great friends), he'll be learning and experiencing new things, he'll learn to respect other authority figures, he'll grow and learn...without me. That's what sticks in my craw. I've been with him nearly all day, every day, since he was born. Yes, he went to preschool last year but let's face it, that was kid's stuff. He wasn't gone more than a couple of hours before I was planning to go and get him. What am I going to do without him all day? My little helper. The kid who makes me giggle just because he told me a funny joke (even if it wasn't really funny).
Why didn't anyone tell me what this would be like? Why is this bothering me so much? Is it because I'm losing control? Is it because I think I'm losing my purpose? I'm not, right? He'll still need me to be his mommy, just not every second of every minute of every day. {SIGH} Life moves on. I just wish it would slow down a little. I'm not ready for this.
From this...
...to this in just under 5 years? Where'd the baby go?
3 comments:
good lord! i can't imagine! my friend heather always tells me that kindergarten was the worst for her so you are not alone. i'm sure i'm going to be a sobbing lunatic by then. and i already send her to daycare five days a week! like everything else, the transition will be the hardest...
Of course it bothers you! Years can pass without you becoming any different, but from a baby to a school-ager in 5 years? INSANE.
(My large one is going to be a second grader this year. A SECOND GRADER!)
Cooper is starting pre-school in a couple of weeks, and while it is only two afternoons a week and though I am very excited for him (as well as for me), I cannot believe how quickly the time has come, and I am just beside myself wondering about how it is going to change my role as his mother.
Hubby and I actually had a conversation a couple of weeks ago about how to me having a 3rd child meant that I would get to be a mom for that much longer . . . when the kids are both in school fulltime it will be time for me to return to work - I don't want that! I want to be a mom all the time! (Does that make any sense?!)
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