Most People Wait Until AFTER the New Year to Break Their Resolutions...

I knew it when I wrote it. It was stupid to admit to the world at large what (one of) my New Year's Resolution was going to be. But damn if karma didn't come around and bite me on the butt. It's kind of like praying for patience. God doesn't give you patience. He gives you the opportuntiy to learn them. In other words, never pray for patience. But I digress...

I am really trying to find the silver lining here, folks, which is why I'm blogging about this. In hopes that maybe you, some of my dear readers, will find it for me and then smack me over the head with it.

We've had The Cold From Hell for several weeks around these parts. I had a cough that lasted, oh, I dunno, FOREVER and I graciously shared it with the kids. Or maybe they shared it with me. Whatever. Oldest Boy was recovering from an ear infection that had required a double round of antibiotics. We had his ear check scheduled for today and I called and requested that Baby Girl be seen at the same time. (As a side note, my pediatrician may be a little unusual but there are not many who would work their schedule to make this happen). Both kids got to be seen.

Oldest Boy was wheezing. Which means he likely has the same "virally-induced asthma" that Youngest Boy was diagnosed with over Christmas Break two years ago. Our doc says, "Asthma is a recurring condition so unless it repeats, which it likely will, this is just an 'episode'." He's being treated with albuterol through a nebulizer but no antibiotics (because it was probably triggered by a virus and not a bacterial infection). Yippee.

Baby Girl, however, only has pneumonia. It's "mild" - only in her right lung and only in the lower lobe. We're treating it with antibiotics only (which, at nearly three years old, she's never been on before) at this point - no nebulizer/breathing treatments/albuterol. Yippee.

I'm hoping to get the Little One in for an appointment tomorrow. She's got the cough and it's keeping her up but it hasn't really affected her eating habits and she's still generally speaking happy enough but I'm now worried that this cold is going straight to their chests and I want her checked out and given a clean bill of health. Please.

OK. So. Silver lining? I'll try first: Oldest Boy's ear infection is gone. I already knew how to use a nebulizer. I know the warning signs of respiratory distress. I frickin' hate this. Sorry. Now you try...

I've Created A (Cookie) Monster!!

Last year, I was invited to participate in a cookie exchange at the home of one of Oldest Boy's classmates. It was a very nice little party - more like an "open house" really - and the food was delish. Oldest Boy enjoyed playing with the other kids from his class and I enjoyed getting to know some of the parents.

However, the cookie "exchange" part...left something to be desired. I made my cake balls - which are one of my favorite cookies and usually a big hit. The hostess later asked me for the recipe during lent so she could make a non-chocolate treat (they can be made using any flavor combination). The cookies that I was sent home with were, uh, well, er...AWFUL!! I think the idea is that you bake a boatload of one type of cookie and you end up with one dozen of a bunch of different types. {SIGH} I hadn't really counted on it last year to substitute for my holiday baking so at least I wasn't too disappointed.

At least this year I knew what I was getting into. I attended again and made the same cookies. Again, I came home with, um, yuck. I knew I was in trouble from the start. We had rehearsed the whole way there what proper behavior was if we didn't like something we were offered or that we decided to try. Youngest Boy (who will likely attend Kindergarten with one of their children) sampled a chocolate chip cookie (which he loves when I bake them). He took a nibble, turned to me, and said, "No thank you." I figured I would just finish it up for him (it's the holidays). The "baker" was standing next to me so I had to choke it down but holy guacamole it was maybe the worst chocolate chip cookie I've ever had! {SIGH}

Now, maybe I'm a better baker than I give myself credit for. Or maybe I'm just picky. But seriously. I thought the idea was to make something you would be proud of. Let's just say my trained super-taster husband threw away more than half of the cookies I brought home. And I've been baking my hiney off ever since!!

Fa-la-la-la-la...la-la-la-la!!

**I'd like to give credit to two of the "bakers". The hostess distributed a poor substitute for buckeye cookies BUT her lady locks were almost as good as my SIL's (Donna) - this is maybe the highest compliment I can give lady locks. Another woman made fudge...which is currently hidden in the back of my fridge. I'll be darned if I'm giving away the only edible treat I took home for all of my hard work!

Remember Me

This year will be the first year that we will not be seeing my mother-in-law over the holidays. She's living out of state with my brother-in-law and his wife and it's just too far to try to visit, especially with an infant and a potty-training 2 1/2 year old.

I have two primary emotions about the situation. The first is relief. And, of course, closely following that is guilt. I am relieved that someone else has taken on the burden. I am relieved that I won't have to worry if this will be the year that she can't remember who my kids are. I am relieved that I won't have to worry about her getting lost in the snow when she goes outside to smoke at my parents' house on Christmas Eve. I am relieved that it's no longer my job to make sure her needs are met and she's comfortable and happy.

And I feel so damn guilty for feeling that relief. I spoke with my BIL's wife yesterday. We had sent my MIL a cardigan for Christmas and she asked if they could give it to her early so that she could wear it for the holiday festivities that they have planned. Of course, I told her that was fine, especially knowing that situation and that she likely wouldn't really understand much anyhow. I asked how things were going and, although I'm not really shocked by how her mental state has declined over the last several months I am surprised that she's still living "at home". It is an unbelievable amount of work and stress for his wife and I hope my husband's family realizes what a great service she is providing by delaying what I consider to be an inevitable outcome (they do). My MIL is going to need more professional care than her children or their spouses are going to be able to provide. Even given their respective medical backgrounds I think it's just not possible for a single family to provide 24 hour care and surveillance.

She wanted to call to thank us for her gift yesterday and because we had discussed a time for the call, I was expecting it. I just didn't know how it would go. My oldest really remembers her living here and being a part of his life on a daily basis. He repeatedly asks when he's going to get to see her again and when he speaks to her he asks her that question and tells her how much he misses her. It absolutely breaks my heart. Because no one can tell him when. Or even if. And I think, because of the angst it causes all of us, I have been avoiding contact with her. Cue more guilt. But yesterday, before she hung up the phone she said to me, "I will try to remember you." It was all I could do not to cry in front of my kids.

There is talk of a family reunion for my husband's family (6 siblings, spouses, their children, and their grandchildren). I have it in my head that this needs to happen. And soon. Because I don't want it to occur if she can't remember us. I just don't know how to explain that to a soon-to-be 7 year-old who just wants to see his grandma again.

The Silver Lining

What a week! In our life right now there is no such thing as a "normal" day. Every day is an adventure. Something is always changing what we might consider to be "routine".


I had been watching the Weather Channel on Wednesday afternoon after picking Youngest Boy up from preschool. His Christmas concert (for Preschool) was scheduled for Thursday evening and they were calling for a bit of snow in our area. I wanted to keep an eye on it, plus there was also a wind "advisory". The older two (YB and Baby Girl) had finished up their lunches and I was feeding the Little One when Youngest Boy said, "Mommy! I heard them say 'Tornado Warning'!" I said, "Oh, they're actually talking about a different part of..."


And then I looked up at the screen and saw the red "Tornado Warning" flashing past. Would someone please notify the weather channel that everyone on God's green earth knows what to do in case of a tornado?!?! Because that's what I saw when I looked up. Not where the tornado actually was but instead that I should head to a basement or whatever. Just as I saw the red warning I glanced out the window and saw branches flying off of the trees and spearing themselves into the ground, shingles flying off of roofs, and hail - blowing sideways!! I sent the older two into the (still not quite finished) basement and grabbed Little One and headed down. I called Mr. MOTH and made him look on-line to see where the warning was while I turned on the TV down there. Needless to say, the warning wasn't for our county but one nearby.

However. We did lose some shingles. But I'm a girl. And this house - which we built brand spanking new - is my first. I don't know the first damn thing about shingles. When I called Mr MOTH and told him he wanted to know how big the pieces were and where they came from. Um, I don't know? I wasn't even sure they were from our house!

I left to pick Oldest Boy up from school and when we got back Mr. MOTH's car was in the garage. He had to assess the damage himself. (In my defense, it took him a few minutes to figure out where they came from, too). Now, he was home a good 3 hours earlier than normal.



*****


Shortly after I fed the young uns dinner, I was cleaning up the dishes when the power went out. Panic ensued! Baby Girl does not like being in the dark (neither does her mommy) and there was much wailing and gnashing of teeth until I located the flashlights (thank you, Flylady, because they all had working batteries) and some candles. The power company was predicting an 8AM the following morning return time for our electric. Yeah. Fun times. I sometimes have trouble entertaining four children with a TV/video system.

*****
Thursday night was Youngest Boy's Christmas program. I was supposed to meet up with my husband and parents there and they would theoretically help me with the kids. I was early, figuring it would give me plenty of time to find everyone and still get him to his room on time. But, alas, I was the only grown-up in my family there. So now I had to disembark myself plus 4 kids in bitter cold weather in a dark parking lot that is designed for 25 cars and was currently holding 1,200 (roughly). The "parking attendant" (read: parent who they roped into helping) asked me to back up and park. I was pretty cranky about this because I have a hard enough time parallel parking when it's broad daylight and I don't have a screaming baby in the backseat, but I complied.

When we finally got inside I remembered that to get to the school from the gym (where the program was being held), I had to go up a ginormous set of bleachers. By myself. With 4 kids. 2 of whom do NOT walk up steps. {SIGH} By the time I got to the top I was literally on the verge of tears. Some mom took pity on me and volunteered to take him to the Pre-K room for me. And I let her. Because I was not going to be able to do it. Boy, I hate that feeling. And as they were walking away I realized that I had just given my 5 year old to a stranger. Can I please pick up my Mother of the Year Award now?

By the time Mr. MOTH arrived I had worked myself into a frenzy and I left the other kids with him so I could ally my fears. And of course he was fine, but still.

*****
I'm going to start my New Year's Resolutions early this year by finding the silver lining in all of this:

If the shingles hadn't blown off of the roof, I would have been home alone during the power outage.

If the "parking attendant" hadn't asked me to back up to park, I would have been down over the (very steep) hill instead of 3 feet away from the door.

I'm still working on finding a positive to handing my child off to a stranger...

My Mom Got Her Wish

I have a child just like me.

When I was growing up, I used to get the words wrong to different songs or sayings all.the.time. (The Wicked Witch said, "I'll get you, my pretty, and your little dog also!")

Oldest Boy is clearly following in my footsteps. They watched Toy Story in the van yesterday. This morning I overheard him say to his brother, "Oh yeah? Well, good evening shell laney!"

HUH?

In my mind I was playing the movie back (which is relatively easy since we've seen it eleventy gagillion times).

"Honey, Woody says, 'Good riddance, ya looney!'"

"No, Mommy, you're wrong. It's 'Good evening shell laney!'"

"Those aren't even words!"

"Well, 'good' is a word. And 'evening' is a word. And 'shell' is a word."

"What about 'laney'?"

"That's just what he calls Buzz. Like a nickname!"

Oy. I'm in trouble.

I Guess I'll Sleep When I'm Old

Sleep. Oh, how I miss it! Truthfully, I could probably count the number of times that I've slept through the night on one hand since Oldest Boy was born. He'll be 7(!) in February! Most recently, I'm averaging about 5-6 hours of sleep a night, but that's NOT consecutive. Little One is maybe cutting a tooth and she definitely has a cold so I'm hoping the party that occurs in her crib every night at about 1AM for the last week + is going to go away eventually but right now, I can't function. I don't want to drink too much coffee (really, is there such a thing?) because when the opportunity for a nap arises, I want to be able to take advantage. Oh, wait. I HAVE 4 SMALL KIDS. The opportunity is never going to arise. For Christmas this year, I'd like a Starbucks, please. Not a cup, a franchise.

Bottom line: I'm feeling completely overwhelmed. I'm clinging desperately to my "glass half full" spirit, but it's dwindling fast. I'm focusing on the positive because I do NOT want to be the Grinch but I am certainly developing some Grinch-y attributes. Maybe chocolate will help...

**As an aside, couldn't you just nom on those fat rolls all day? She's our chunky monkey. At 6 months old, she weighs three full pounds more than her sister did at the same age: 18 pounds, 7 ounces!! And yes, my children look like they live in an orphanage. Mr. MOTH read a report about crib bumpers and SIDS and none of our youngest three have been allowed to use one...

Success!

Christmas shopping with my girls was a smashing success! I can't decide if Baby Girl was so well-behaved because she felt like a big shot shopping with the ladies or if it was the fact that she had an over-abundance of undivided attention - which made me feel like a less-than-perfect mommy. Either way, she was soooo much fun!

The best, by far, was lunch. Unlike our old-time shopping trips, lunch was consumed in the food court. I promised her nuggets because I was certain there was a fast-food place there. But no. So I offered pizza or pasta. She gladly chose the pasta...and ate nearly the entire plate with a fork - all by herself!! It was maybe the cutest stinkin' thing EVER! I just soaked it all in, that moment when my little girl morphed into a big girl in front of my very eyes. It's hard to explain just how grown-up she looked. But I know that I will never forget it.

And, of course, I still have mucho gifts to buy because I don't even know what to look for!!