I don't know a single person who had a "picture perfect" childhood. Everyone is bound to find fault in their parents at one point or another and I'm no exception (don't start sweating, Mom, this post isn't about what you did WRONG). However, one thing that still baffles me completely is how my parents managed to raise me to be oblivious to a person's skin color. Neither one of them has a prejudice, but I know that all of their parents do/did. It just never dawned on me as a child (or as an adult, for that matter) to even care if someone was black, white, or purple. Seriously.
My kids have been blessed with this same color blindness. They have not once called a child "black" because of his skin color. Although, they do use color to identify people...but it's not the color of their skin. It's the color of their clothing. Not bad, you say. And for the most part you would be right. But it can be confusing:
I occasionally take the kids to the local outlet mall and then let them play in the play area for good behavior. This particular outlet has a large customer base of "foreigners". We were there a few months ago on a weekend, which means it was crowded. My boys are very friendly. They immediately start playing with anybody and everybody they meet. They were playing with two little boys who seemed to be about the same age as them and they were wearing white t-shirts. Their dad was sitting along the side holding a baby girl about the same age as our Baby Girl. I wandered over and struck up a conversation (I swear, I don't know where my kids get it...). Turns out, they were from Jamaica. And they were very dark-skinned. And hilarious. At one point, Oldest Boy lost sight of his new friend and he shouted, "Hey Mommy! Where'd that white boy go?" *cue crickets chirping* I quickly made them find out the boys' names but how do you explain that? I am certain that at some point they will understand that skin color can be an identifying characteristic, but I'm wholeheartedly hoping that it will be the same thing for them as saying, "That boy with the blue eyes." or "That girl in the pink shirt". It will simply be, "That kid with the brown skin." End of discussion.
How do other parents handle this? Or plan to?
With Four Children, The Days Are Long but The Years Are Short!
3 comments:
I think my kids are fairly ignorant, too, we teach them to take others individually and on their own merit. However, sometimes you just create messes for yourself no matter what, e.g. we used to call baby Nicholas "Knickers." Until I was a the grocery store with him in a snuggly and 3 kids bouncing around me shouting "Mommy! I can see Knickers!" Only it didn't sound like Knickers....
If you figure it out.... let us know!
Rocket Ma'am's comment--hilarious!
Thank you for the wonderful post and for caring about raising your children to grow up in a world that treats others with respect and dignity.
I love it!!
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