Given the week that I had last week, my Saturday shouldn't really surprise me. But, in all of my pregnancy-induced stupidity (shut-up, I have to blame it on something) I decided it would be an Excellent! Idea! to take all of the kids to Saturday evening mass. By myself. We had gone to the Ash Wednesday service at Oldest Boy's school/church and everything was mostly hunky-dory. Differences: I had two kids to worry about, not three. There's a baby room at Oldest Boy's church, and not one at ours. We were surrounded by other parents of small children (some of which I even know and like) and not by crabby elderly people who think that children should be seen and not heard. Yeah.
So, because Mr. MOTH is currently painting the basement, a task which I can't bring myself to ask him to put off because I want it to be finished so badly I can taste it, I trekked off alone with the kids in tow. As I'm pulling out of the garage he says, "You're nuts." Yup.
The boys had been all wound up before we left to go - wrestling, running, generally rough-housing. This should have been a warning, but our church is 25 minutes away and they usually doze in the space shuttle on the way there. And they did. But apparently, they didn't have it all out of their system. We were a good 10 minutes earlier than normal because I wanted a seat towards the back for a nice, speedy exit if necessary. I forgot. It's Lent. Everyone else had the Catholic guilt in high gear as well and the place was packed. We were three rows from the altar. We sat down and the boys were still for 2.3 seconds. Then they started wrestling. I pulled Youngest Boy over to me and forced him to sit on the other side. And he hit me! He never does that! And Baby Girl decided at this time that there really wasn't room for mommy on the pew and demanded, "Mommy, stop it! Get outta ma way!!" Loudly. So, 10 minutes in, we left. And our exit must have been entertaining because all of the lovely people standing along the back were laughing. I was carrying Baby Girl with her little bum hanging out (she did have tights on) and the boys were hauling butt to keep up. I originally thought I'd get to the back and calm them down, but the boys took off at a run when they saw the wide open space and that was it. They knew going in that if they didn't behave they were going to lose TV priviledges for a whole week. And they did. This is punishment for me as well and frankly, I deserve it.
I cried the entire way home. And then for another half hour. And I almost shoved the kitchen sponge down Mr. MOTH's throat for even thinking about saying I told you so.
With Four Children, The Days Are Long but The Years Are Short!
5 comments:
I've been wanting to join a church since Renee was born but honestly what you just described is why I haven't :)
Bless your heart for even thinking that would work! But I too (both pregnant and not pregnant) have hauled the kids out of the house to do some ridiculous task in the hopes that it would give hubby the chance to get some sort-of project done. I won't call it nesting, but I have hit a major need to organize, purge, clean, and get things in general order before I have another little one underfoot - I can only imagine how frustrating it is to be so close to having the basement done!
And THAT is the #1 reason why I never take my kids anywhere. And I've only got 2.
I think you still get points because you tried so hard!
I had that exact thing happen to me a couple years ago, only I was pg with #5 (not trying to one-up you, I swear) and I ended the whole spectacle by dragging the youngest out by his ankle before God and everyone. He had thrown himself into the aisle kicking and screaming so I just grabbed the first appendage I could and marched out. Then I sat in the parking lot until Mass was over with everyone belted in and silent (under pain of death) while I read a magazine and listened to the radio.
One time they were so bad on a Sunday that I did the parking lot thing, then drove 10 miles to a Dunkin Donuts and ate two donuts right in from of them to show them what they COULD have had if they had JUST BEHAVED. Of course I was sick to my stomach for hours...
This new church has ccd and a nursery during the first morning Mass, so I dump them all hand have an hour with only the youngest, who is velcroed to me. I figure I deserve it just now, even if it means they are technically attending church.
that last should read, "even if they AREN'T techincally attending church."
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