Open Letter to The Weather Channel

(Alternate Title: Pet Peeve #3,693)

Dear Weather Channel,

I understand your need to compete in a highly commercial world. Really, I do. But must you, too, go the way of MTV? Given your name, I expect to be able to turn to your station and actually see, you know, my forecast. I know, I know. It's crazy to think this way! Afterall, MTV hasn't shown actually Music Television since when? 1994?

You see, Weather Channel People, we were having severe storms in our area on Saturday evening. I was very, very tired (read: very, very cranky) after being at a pool party with our entire family all day. The kids were exhausted. The only thing that I wanted to do was to put them to bed early. And then I heard it. Thunder. If you have small children, you know that you may as well kiss bedtime good-bye if there's going to be a storm. You can blow all the smoke and magic fairy dust out of your butt that you can, and they still ain't gonna believe that God's bowling. Kids are too darn smart!

So, being crazy from exhaustion and all, I stupidly thought that I could put on THE WEATHER CHANNEL and find out what the WEATHER situation was. But, noooooo! Instead, Jim Cantore was telling me all about the frickin' winter wars that go on in International Falls, MN!! Seriously? It's July!! Still, I patiently sat through the v-e-r-y s-l-o-w t-i-c-k-e-r a-t t-h-e b-o-t-t-o-m o-f t-h-e s-c-r-e-e-n. Which, quite frankly, must be written for people who never, done, did gradiate from the 3rd grade!! After seeing our small town, USA, listed as about to be impacted by this line of storms, I waited until "the 8's"...and nothing. So, I waited until the 8's on the hour. Nothing. I finally had to switch to a "local" weather station - one state over and it just cuts off our county. Tornado warnings were popping up everywhere and I was cursing your name!! We survived, with only one set of tears (mine) and a much later bedtime, but it was no thanks to you!!

Oh, and one more thing. Flick and a Forecast? Really?!?! Look, do I turn on HBO and expect to see the local radar? Um, NO! So don't expect me to turn on THE WEATHER CHANNEL in the hopes of seeing a movie!!! Sheesh!