I guess we’ll start at the beginning. My husband had been to Walt Disney World once before we met (for his FIRST honeymoon – that’s where he takes all of his wives…) so when his niece’s wedding (in Ft. Myers) rolled around he decided that we should take the opportunity to go together. At this point, we had been dating for just over a year. Our plan was to fly into Orlando Int’l, drive to the wedding, and return to Disney for our vacation.
The flight down was uneventful, we rented our car and (this is HIS version), as soon as the tires clicked over the metal spikes meaning you can’t possibly get back in I said, “I have to pee.” I should probably note that my bladder is roughly the size of a small marble (thanks, Dad) so this is not unusual. He decides we’ll just stop off on our way. We passed several exits, ALL of which had various gas stations and sundry shops, but he decides to follow the WDW signs. There are no noticeable places where there would be a restroom and Mr. MOTH starts cursing (he has toned his temper and his language down considerably in recent years. Seriously. What? You should have seen him BEFORE). “I just need a $#@%& bathroom!!” “$#%&!!” “You’ve GOT to be %@&* kidding me!!” We drive under the famous welcome signs. And we arrive at the entrance to one of the parks (I’m not even sure which one it was). By this time my eyes are yellow and I’m trying not to laugh or cry at my (then) boyfriend’s tirade. No bathrooms. We make a u-turn and there’s more cursing and more crossing of legs and then we finally, FINALLY, FINALLY end up back at a McDonald’s where I bolt out of the door, possibly knocking down the elderly and small children in my way as I race to the bathroom.
And that was my very first time at the Happiest Frickin Place on Earth.
**To complete this part of the tale, I’ll mention that the wedding was beautiful, I saw dolphins in the gulf during an early morning walk, and I caught the bouquet at the reception. This was ironic because apparently everyone in Mr. MOTH’s family (and some who weren’t even really related) knew he was about to propose. I did NOT. He was cranky about the whole thing because he didn’t catch the garter. In all honesty, I wasn’t even trying to catch it. His sister was standing next to me and wasn’t paying attention AT ALL. I think his niece used to play softball and she whipped that sucker right at Jay’s head. If I hadn’t stuck my hand out, I’m pretty sure it would have knocked her out. The ribbons got all caught up in my fingers and the next thing I know everyone is cheering for me. {SIGH}. This is AFTER what is referred to by his sisters as “The Red Lobster Incident” the night before. But that’s a story for another series of posts…
1 comment:
Your first trip to Disney was WAY more fun than mine. Well... maybe not WAY more fun. But still. I do, however, always appreciate a a good knocking down children and elderly on the way to the bathroom story. Can't wait to hear more!
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