This is the first time since we've been married that not once did I ask questions about pregnancy. Or conception. Or testing. Or deliveries (OK. I actually did ask about deliveries but only because they stopped delivering babies at the hospital where we had all of our babies). And I thought, "Really?!?! You're really even remotely considering that you might want to put yourself through that again?!?! Really?!?!" And then I called my husband. And he said, "What?!?! Really?!?! Are you serious?!?!" And I realized that I wasn't. I'm not serious. I'm just mourning the passing of a time in my life. My child-bearing years really are over. Really. And I'm yust a l'il sad. Not crazy enough to do it again. But sad, nonetheless. {SIGH}.
And then I came home to the insanity that is my current life. Preparing lunch, changing babies, cleaning up
3 comments:
Awww, I feel for you. I really want more kids, but my husband has decided he doesn't. So for the sake of his sanity, I chose no more kids! But that realization of change can sometimes be hard.
Blessings
I have not allowed myself the opportunity to wrap my head around the fact that Briar is (I am about 99% sure) our last baby. Being pregnant and being a 'new' mom has been my identity for the last 4.5 years, and I am nervous about having to say goodbye to it. Big hugs!
I can so relate to this. I actually made the grand decision when I was pregnant with Mack, that pregnancy (for me) was SO HORRIBLE that I never intended to be pregnant again and had a tubal ligation during my c-section with him. I forced myself never to think about it. THEN, this fall, during the mothballing of my uterus... after the procedure was done and there was ZERO possibility that I'd ever in this lifetime carry another baby... I had a meltdown. It struck me like a baseball bat to the head.
I didn't intend to use my uterus again, but knowing that I couldn't in the event I wanted to... made me really sad. THEN Mack screamed his brains out and I came back to reality.
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