Dear Dr. Phil

Thank you for making an issue out of something that really should be a NON-issue. I don't normally watch your show, Dr. Phil, but yesterday I was flipping by when I noticed the caption Working Mom Vs. Stay-at-Home Mom. Because I fall into one of these two categories I hung around a bit. I was disappointed to see so many women bashing each others' choices. UGH!

Sir, this is all about respect. People need to respect the choices that other people make (or, sometimes, that are made by their circumastance). Sheesh. The women FROM BOTH SIDES were lunatics. There is no right or wrong. There is a right or a wrong for EACH SITUATION, but it is NOT an absolute! I was amazed that it was possible to dedicate an entire hour to this "debate". Working moms have it rough. Some work because they have to. Some work because they want to. But they ALL deserve our respect - not because they are "working moms" (a term I hate, by the way, because all moms "work") but because they are women. Women who are doing an amazing thing simply by being a mom.

Stay-at-home moms ALSO deserve our respect - not because they "stay at home" but for the same reason as stated above. I choose to stay at home. This is not your mama's stay-at-home mom, mister! In this day and age women who stay home to be with their children are sometimes leaving behind an occupation where they were contributing members of society. It is not exactly mentally "challenging" to be a mommy in the way that it was for me when I had to reverse engineer a competitive sample using extractions and analytical analyses as a chemist. However, it is mentally "exhausting" to try to explain to a two-year-old why they can't take their pants off for the 40th time in 20 minutes (it's cold. you're sick. the dog next door might be offended.).

I have friends and family who fall into all categories - working moms, stay-at-home moms, work-from-home moms, moms working part-time, moms who baby-sit in their homes, etc. You know, I can see that each of them is doing what is best for them and for their family. Why can't the rest of the world get that? I actually believe that most of the rest of the world does get that. I think that presenting some women who have highly opinionated beliefs about their choices - or who are so insecure that they feel the need to put down other women's choices is unfair. I have, indeed, been called "just a mom" but I now have enough confidence to know that the person using that verbage is probably "just jealous". Until you have walked a mile in someone else's shoes, you cannot know what their life is like. Please, let this "issue" go. We all make our own choices. As long as I can lay my head down at night and know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I did my best - for myself, for my husband, for my babies - that is all that matters.

**The only thing that truly irks me is when a working mom says that she "wishes she could afford to stay home" yet she manages to buy a brand new car every year. And the shiniest! newest! tech gadgets (costing hundreds of dollars) every time they come out. Please. I drive a 5 year old minivan and my cell phone is going on 3 years old. It's all about priorities, people.