As my days as a nursing mommy draw (s-l-o-w-l-y) to a close – while my list of things I cannot eat grows by leaps and bounds – I decided to share my thoughts and experiences on breastfeeding. Little One currently gets one bottle every night and we’re going to be starting cereal next week. I have mixed feelings about the last time I will nurse a baby, but that will be a story on its own. **Important note: If you are a male relative (this means you - Dad or Jason), or a card-carrying member of the breastfeeding Nazis (aka La Leche League) you’re going to want to skip this post.
Breastfeeding and…
Weight loss. The breastfeeding Nazis would have you believe that you can burn 5,000 calories a day (only a slight exaggeration) and that your pregnancy weight will just Melt! Right! Off! This is a cruel, cruel ruse. In my experience (and really, that’s the only thing I can go by), it takes a shitload of hard work (diet and exercise) to lose that weight. Even MORE than if you weren’t nursing because your body seems to think you NEED extra fat – you know, in case of a famine or something. I’ll never understand why that extra fat needs to reside on my HIPS instead of, say, my BOOBS, but there you go.
Modesty. Honestly? Modesty goes right out the window when you become a nursing mama. My first few weeks of nursing my first baby I was more like a geisha girl walking around in button-down shirts that weren’t buttoned. I have come a long way since then but it takes practice and experience to be able to nurse in public with a degree of modesty. I will always admire people who can nurse in the middle of a crowded room without a care. I can remember my niece nursing her daughter during her brother and future sister-in-law’s bridal shower. I was in awe and I was proud to know her, but at the same time I was thinking to myself, “There is no way in hell I could do that!” It doesn’t mean I don’t respect someone else’s right to do so, it’s just my comfort level. Yes, I know it’s a perfectly natural act but so is sex and you’re not going to find me doing THAT on the park bench at the zoo…
Still, it has become much more natural for me to plan things that will have us away from home for more than three hours. It’s (almost) always possible to find someplace at least semi-private – a dressing room at the mall, a well-positioned rock at the zoo (seriously, the local zoo needs to get a clue and MAKE a place for nursing mamas to go) or even back to the space shuttle. I’m more comfortable about it than my husband, but he’s starting to get it. Frankly, I think he just likes to have an excuse not to go out to dinner :)
Food and Drink. This part kills me. It takes so long to figure out what it is that you’re eating that might be bothering a tiny tummy. Right now I can’t have chocolate. Or milk. Or cheese. Or beer. Or onions. {SIGH} Maybe this is why it was a bit easier for me to lose the pounds…who wants to eat nothing but bland food? I miss chocolate.
Engorgement. I don’t have any tips for relieving this phenomenon. I’ve heard cabbage leaves work but cabbage is not something most nursing mothers have in the house (see above mentioned tiny tummies). I recommend a tight-fitting sports bra but only if you’re done nursing. If you use it before you could screw up your milk supply.
Stress. Breastfeeding is hard. It becomes easier and more natural the longer (or more often) you do it, but it ain’t easy. It makes it even harder when the FIRST THING everyone says when your baby is fussy is, “Is s/he hungry?” Gee, let me think. Did I forget to feed the baby today? No, folks, every time a baby cries they are not necessarily HUNGRY! Sometimes they’re tired. Sometimes they have gas. Sometimes they just want to cry (it develops their lungs). Give a nursing mama a break and ask THOSE questions first…
Weaning. Our pediatrician recommends weaning cold-turkey. Um, no. With both boys I weaned them gradually, substituting one bottle feeding every 3-4 days until we were done. With Baby Girl it was a nightmare. She had absolutely no desire to take a bottle. She flat-out refused. When I asked our pediatrician she said to refuse to nurse her and eventually she would just get hungry enough that she would take a bottle. I went FOURTEEN (14!) ever-loving hours and the little turkey wouldn’t take it. I was sobbing, she was screaming, and Mr. MOTH finally said enough. Just feed her, already! This messed me up for days. I did a little research and found that cold-turkey weaning sends your body the message that your baby is no longer there and can cause severe depression. Makes sense to me! I did eventually end up going cold-turkey with her the very FIRST time she accepted the bottle, but I was prepared mentally for the hormonal emotional torment. Little One is being weaned v-e-r-y g-r-a-d-u-a-l-l-y, thankyouverymuch.
I guess this was a pretty long post but since I have spent two full years of my life nursing a baby, there was a lot to cover. And remember, these are just my thoughts and feelings and since it's my blog, that's all you're going to get. Feel free to leave a nasty comment but know that I have a delete button and I'm not afraid to use it :)
2 comments:
I'm bfing my son, and it's definitely been a battle. I had to use a nipple shield with him for 3 months until he was finally able to be weaned off of that. He will take a bottle, but it's a PITA to pump and so much easier to give it to him right off the tap (and I'm secretly hoping he will never have to have formula - not that I'm against people that choose to give their kids formula, I just don't want my son to have it).
I have nursed many places, including Chick-fil-a, the mall (in a dressing room), many many times in a car, and at friend's and family's houses. BUT, I have a Hooters Hider nursing cover, so I feel more comfortable. I don't want to flash my flabby stretch-marky stomach for all to see. The trick with the cover is practice practice practice at home, so your baby gets used to it.
After 7 1/2 months of nursing though, I don't have engorgment or leaking problems any more, and if I plan on being somewhere that I cannot nurse my son, or if it's going to be close (like going to Mass Sunday mornings), I pump the other side while he's nursing.
Some women can't lose weight and even gain it while nursing. I'm not one of them, but I am already overweight, so some of it is due to the fact that I don't eat much junk any more.
However, I refused to modify my diet (with the exception of abstaining from alcohol, but I never drank much to begin with). His body adjusted over time, and I bet your daughter's gut is mature enough to handle you gradually adding back the foods that used to bother her.
Never in a million years would I have thought breastfeeding would be SO HARD. And PAINFUL. I was never able to breastfeed in public. I went back to the car (not caring about the dude sitting in the car next to me WATCHING everything, but intimidated by a restaurant full of people).
I can't imagine a ped telling somebody to wean cold turkey, it just goes against every instinct.
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