Unexpected-ness

I wasn’t really sure what to expect when I started blogging. I knew that I was at least literate enough to be able to put words on paper and make some sense. I knew my main goal was to have a way to remember all of the stuff that my kids did. But it turns out that there’s so much more.

One unexpected benefit is in my spirituality and closeness to God. I used to have prayer time every morning where I would use a prayer journal. I had pictures of my family and one or two close friends who I would offer up in prayer every day (or as often as I could with this many munchkins running around). And then I started blogging.

At first I was just reading other people’s blogs. And they touched my heart. Through some encouragement (and frankly, it didn’t take much) I started my own. And I soon found myself praying for other bloggers. I prayed for Fishsticks after the loss of Quinn and during her pregnancy with Briar. I prayed for "Aunt Becky"'s little Amelia before she was even born and then more consistently during her brain surgery. I was completely moved by Stellan and his miraculous healing. I prayed for Jennifer and her twin girls. I cried and prayed for Multiple Baby Pile-Up when they lost their Jack. I prayed for Matt Logelin and Madeline after the loss of Liz. It seemed not a day would go by when someone, somewhere in the virtual world was hurting. I had to take a step back when the hormones that come with pregnancy and post-partum hit because I had to focus on surviving.

I stopped visiting every website that was “tweeted”, asking for prayers. I quit linking to every sad, heart-wrenching story because my own heart needed protecting. You can only cry so many tears. But God hears them all, even the prayers that aren’t spoken.

And then I followed the link to Layla Grace…and my heart broke for this family. They are living a nightmare and doing their best to make sure that her life is not in vain. I cannot imagine having to hold my child while she is dying and knowing there is nothing you CAN do except pray. For peace. For freedom from pain. For what? It’s so hard to know what to ask God for. They wanted her to be healed. And they truly believe that she WILL BE. They’ve accepted that it may not be on their terms but when the Lord holds this sweet, sweet girl she WILL BE perfect. That, my friends, is faith like no other. May God bless them and sweet, sweet Layla Grace.