Life's Plan

Warning: Slightly crabby post ahead - but I'm working on 3 hours of sleep over here!

Yes, we are going to have a fourth child. And guess what? We actually planned to! And I am really tired of people looking at me like I’m Michelle Duggar! You know what else? I KNOW I’m going to have my hands full. I already do! You know what else? I love every.single.minute. Yes, it’s insane, but I’ve wanted this type of insanity my entire life. I feel like I’m living the answer to every prayer I ever prayed as a child/teen/young adult. This is what I’ve always wanted. Maybe I hadn’t always planned on being a SAHM, but that’s what works best for us right now. I’m blessed that we can afford it and that I have a husband who totally supports it. He certainly doesn’t think any less of me because of it. I’m the same intelligent, independent, (albeit slightly older) woman he married. And I think he also knows that if I absolutely had to? I could do this alone. I’m not married to him because I have to be. Or because I need to be. It’s because I want to be. Love’s crazy like that!

And this baby? Will not be neglected or less-loved or less-wanted because it’s the fourth (and most likely last) child. Just the opposite. I will be much more relaxed because I know that I’m finally done with my child-bearing years and I’m moving on to the child-rearing years. I can now focus all of my attentions on them. All of them. Yes, it’s impossible to give each of them my undivided attention all at the same time. They’ll adjust. And they’ll also know, without a shadow of a doubt, that they are important. Each one of them. If someone wants to judge me because of our choice to have a large family? They can kiss my you-know-what. Twice. Because I don’t judge someone who has one child. Or no children. Sometimes it’s a choice. Sometimes not. But you take what life gives you. No one’s life is perfect, including (maybe most especially) mine.