Taking Exhaustion To A New Level

When we discussed becoming parents for a fourth time, one of the things I considered was the fact that I knew we would be reverting back to a time of less than eight hours of sleep a night. Waking up every 3 hours to feed a newborn is expected (and if your baby slept through the night at two weeks, please don't tell me). What I didn't expect was for all of the older kids to suddenly start waking up in the middle of the night and needing comfort. A quick drink or help using the potty, sure. But needing someone by their side for oh, say, half an hour? Not on my agenda.

Luckily, Mr. MOTH has really stepped up to the plate and usually gets up with the boys and hangs out until they're back to sleep. Baby Girl, however, has taken this whole thing to a new level. She wakes up sobbing for me and doesn't really want to be pacified by her daddy. Last night was un-real. Little One was up around 12:30 for her midnight snack. Around 1AM, Baby Girl woke up. I went in and laid on her floor for a little while and then did my usual "I need to check on your sister. I'll be right back." More often than not, this appeases her and she goes back to sleep alone. Last night, no dice. I finally gave up and brought her in our bed. BIG MISTAKE!

She played around UNTIL 5 AM!! At which point I had finally had enough and I took her back to her crib and laid on her floor until she was asleep (10 minutes). My bursitis in my hips is killing me (why, yes, I am really frickin' old) and my back just isn't quite right. And when I complained about my hips this morning, Oldest Boy asked, "What are your hips?" I pointed to them and said, "They're my biggest part." Oldest Boy said, "No. Your bum is definitely your biggest part!" {SIGH}

And right now I am waiting patiently for Baby Girl to take a nap. For the love of all that is holy, why isn't she sleeping?!?! Seriously, she's been in their for nearly 45 minutes and she's still awake!! I've always made fun of people who feel the need to medicate their children for a moment's peace, but I can hear that bottle of Benadryl calling right about now!

Color Blind

I don't know a single person who had a "picture perfect" childhood. Everyone is bound to find fault in their parents at one point or another and I'm no exception (don't start sweating, Mom, this post isn't about what you did WRONG). However, one thing that still baffles me completely is how my parents managed to raise me to be oblivious to a person's skin color. Neither one of them has a prejudice, but I know that all of their parents do/did. It just never dawned on me as a child (or as an adult, for that matter) to even care if someone was black, white, or purple. Seriously.

My kids have been blessed with this same color blindness. They have not once called a child "black" because of his skin color. Although, they do use color to identify people...but it's not the color of their skin. It's the color of their clothing. Not bad, you say. And for the most part you would be right. But it can be confusing:

I occasionally take the kids to the local outlet mall and then let them play in the play area for good behavior. This particular outlet has a large customer base of "foreigners". We were there a few months ago on a weekend, which means it was crowded. My boys are very friendly. They immediately start playing with anybody and everybody they meet. They were playing with two little boys who seemed to be about the same age as them and they were wearing white t-shirts. Their dad was sitting along the side holding a baby girl about the same age as our Baby Girl. I wandered over and struck up a conversation (I swear, I don't know where my kids get it...). Turns out, they were from Jamaica. And they were very dark-skinned. And hilarious. At one point, Oldest Boy lost sight of his new friend and he shouted, "Hey Mommy! Where'd that white boy go?" *cue crickets chirping* I quickly made them find out the boys' names but how do you explain that? I am certain that at some point they will understand that skin color can be an identifying characteristic, but I'm wholeheartedly hoping that it will be the same thing for them as saying, "That boy with the blue eyes." or "That girl in the pink shirt". It will simply be, "That kid with the brown skin." End of discussion.

How do other parents handle this? Or plan to?

Say It With A Twang!

Right now my boys are walking around the house singing, "God is great; Beer is good; and people are crazy." Thank you, Billy Currington!

I Just Don't Get It

Facebook. I just don't get it. No, seriously. I mean, I understand why some people do it. For example, my SIL does it because her kids are all on there so she can keep up with their lives much more easily. One of my closest friends has recently opened an account because her husband is doing a tour of duty in Iraq (which is the one thing compelling me to sign up) and he has more access to a computer than a phone.

But to me, it just seems like high school all over again. Look! I have elenty-seven "friends"! I'm waaay cooler than you! Did I mention that I really hated high school? There are approximately 2-3 people from high school who I even talk to any more. Everyone else? Not so much. And yet, my life goes on. Hard to believe, isn't it? Alright, all bitterness aside, I just don't seem to care if everyone from my past lives knows all about my current one.

They say that living well is the best revenge. Good. I'll share a little story from my past: About a year before I started dating Mr. MOTH I got a phone call out of the blue. It was an old flame, Mike*, who had called my parents' house to get my number (my sister gladly gave it to him, a story for another day). He had just broken up with the girl he was dating when I graduated college and was "just wondering" what I was up to. At the time, I was living the fun, single life: clubbing on weekends, skiing, bowling, caving, working out at the gym, living on my own with a well-paying job. Him? He was still living with his parents and working at a low-level position with no funds for all of the "fun" things that I mentioned I was doing. Ahhh. That kind of revenge really can be so sweet. The point is, via facebook, I'm pretty sure he could find me now if he was so inclined. I love my life right now, but I don't really need to be made to feel like I have to justify my choices to people whose opinions I quit caring about a loooong time ago. Does that make sense? Am I being crazy?

*Name may have been changed to protect the obnoxious. Or not. EVERY GUY I dated before Mr. MOTH was named Mike. Seriously.

In No Particular Order

I AM:

Smart
Confident
Silly
Unique
Mommy
Straight
Proud
Middle-class
Cook
Strong
Conservative
Healthy
Sassy
Bossy
Cute
Foul-mouthed
Crazy
Moody

Nice
Catholic
Messy
Educated
Fun-loving
Daughter
Happy
Organized
Contradictory
Always right
Sister
Charitable
Tough
Funny
Wife
Intelligent
Goofy
Friend
Sexy
Jealous
Sociable
Nosy
Selfish

Neurotic
Compassionate
Grouchy
High-maintenance
Secure
Granddaughter
God-fearing
Loud
Sweet
Amazing
Niece

Naive
Generous
Fair
Peaceful

I AM greater than the sum of all my parts. I AM more than "just" anything. I AM.

And I Had 3 Semesters of Calculus...

I finally figured something out. When you become a mother for the first time, you KNOW that it's going to change you (just watch the Johnson&Johnson commercials - it changes EVERYTHING). But then you get your act together and you think, if you're so inclinced, we should have another one! This is GREAT! So, you do. And then you realize that no one told you that things won't be TWICE as hard...they'll be exponentially harder, depending on the task at hand. Changing diapers will, in fact, be easier because you've had practice. However, nursing the baby will be easier and harder...easier because you know what to expect but harder because you'll be trying to nurse while also nudging a toddler away with your foot (true story).

Leaving the house? Forgedaboutit. That becomes a nearly impossible task because you cannot physically carry both a toddler (who forgot how to walk down steps once the baby was born) and a baby carrier/car seat that weighs 106 pounds fully loaded.

And laundry doesn't double. It quadruples. Dishes? Same thing. Dust? I don't even notice it anymore.

So now that I'm currently nursing my fourth child you would think that I could tell others what that multiplying factor is. Nope. Because it seems to change with each child. I will tell you this: It doesn't get easier. You may make it look easier to others because your survival instincts are kicked into overdrive, but it is all about perception. When things get like this, I'm grateful to have the Internet to connect to others in the same boat who, presumably, also make it "look" easier. But mostly I'm grateful for my friends who see my needs and tell me, in their own way, that I am, in fact, doing a good job. I do "make it look so easy". Thanks.

And now for a reminder why the children are able to make hieroglyphics in the dust on the TV stand:

"Babies Don't Keep"
Mother, oh Mother, come shake out your cloth

empty the dustpan, poison the moth,

hang out the washing and butter the bread,

sew on a button and make up a bed.

Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?

She's up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.

Oh, I've grown shiftless as Little Boy Blue

(lullaby, rock-a-bye, lullaby loo).

Dishes are waiting and bills are past due

(pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peek-a-boo).

The shopping's not done and there's nothing for stew

and out in the yard there's a hullabaloo

but I'm playing Kanga and this is my Roo.

Look! Aren't her eyes the most wonderful hue?

(lullaby, rock-a-bye, lullaby loo).

The cleaning and scrubbing will wait till tomorrow,

for children grow up, as I've learned to my sorrow.

So quiet down, cobwebs. Dust go to sleep.

I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep.
-- Author Unknown

Does This Day Have a Reset Button?

Did you ever have one of those days? You know, the one where you just really wish you could be someplace - ANYPLACE - else? At least for a few minutes hours days? I can't exactly explain it, but I am not a nice person today. I don't know how to get back to where I AM a nice person, so I'm desperately, intently, insanely looking for the "reset" button that will put me back in bed so that I can A) Actually GET UP when the alarm goes off instead of going back to sleep for 3.5 minutes before the Little One needs to eat. B) Make it through more than 3.5 minutes of the boys being awake before I yell...at BOTH of them. C) Shower without 37 interruptions of "MOMMY!! BROTHER IS STANDING ON THE BED!!" or having to get out of the shower and replace Little One's binky for the umpteenth (what, it's a word, OK?) time. D) Actually START my to-do list before one of the girls falls asleep, because nearly everything that I need to do will wake at least one of them up. E) Actually MAKE a to-do list that CAN be accomplished. F) Sit down for more than 3.5 minutes (without a baby attached to my body) without jumping up and insanely rushing around to get something ANYTHING done. Anybody know where the reset button is? Anybody?!?!

I need a vacation...