The blogosphere is all a-twitter about banning children from certain places. I think that it's completely ridiculous but if a restaurant has to fill a need by doing so I suppose that is the owner's business. I feel it crosses a line towards discrimination and frankly, it irritates the hell out of me but private business has that choice.
What aggravates me are people who think - because they don't have children themselves or because their children are grown - that they should never have to come in contact with them. They are a part of life. Even if they aren't yours there is no reason why you are entitled to never see, hear, or come in contact with them. I am so tired of this whole topic. I have become so defensive every time I walk out the door with the kids in tow that I get a headache even thinking about it. They are (for the most part) well-behaved but when they raise their voice above a soft tone I panic that someone will judge me as not being able to control my kids - in Wal-mart where the volume of the background noise is practically deafening!!
If we go somewhere that quiet is expected and my children don't comply, we leave. Maybe we're in the minority but that's how I handle it. I know there are parents who think a toddler tantrum is "cute" but that ain't me. If it can't be dealt with promptly we remove ourselves. But it isn't immediate. Every 2-year-old that I have known has volume-control issues. They just don't know what "talk softly" means. But they'll never learn how to behave if they don't get to try! I would never dream of taking our kids to a 5-star restaurant (first of all, can you imagine the cost vs. food wasted? Mind boggling!) but there are some 4 year olds who could do just fine (actually, Baby Girl - all by herself - is one of them. She models my behavior to a "t" when we are someplace special).
And why, oh why, does everyone have to ask me if they're all mine? First and foremost, it's none of your business. Second, it's none of your business. Third? NONE.OF.YOUR.BUSINESS. I find that just as rude as my kid calling the lady we kept running into "old". (We had a "discussion" about that. Problem solved.) I am not some freak show waiting for you to figure out how I do it or why I want to. NONE.OF.YOUR.BUSINESS. And I don't really care that you come from a family of 12 or that your neighbor has 4 kids and never leaves her house. Really. I have as much right to take my personal freak show grocery shopping as you have to take your pretentious, opinionated, judgmental self. I can't ban YOU (dear old man who told me people should just get puppies...) so why should you be allowed to ban ME. If a super market is going to offer child-free shopping hours then I want them to cater to my needs as well - shopping for ONLY people with children under 12 where they play "The Wheels on the Bus" over the PA and old people who hate kids aren't allowed. Or people who swear. Or people who talk about inappropriate things on their cell phones. Sound ridiculous? Well, if they get to request by nature of their being "inconvenienced" that children can't be around then I should get the same treatment - otherwise that's discrimination. This idea that every time you walk outside of your door the world should be exactly as you want it (sunny, quiet, happy, no-kids-allowed) is ridiculous. I respect people who can't/don't have children. Why can't they respect me?
5 comments:
I think it's half reflection on the fact that most people don't teach their kids to behave these days (can you tell I love John Rosemond?), and half that people simply don't value children anymore- it's all about them... ironically a result of people not teaching their kids to behave 30 years ago. See Humanae Vitae No 17.
Found your blog on MckMama's forum. I don't really think that child bans will work (I happen to LOVE kids), but I do think that if a child is being exceptionally noisy, the parents should do something about it. A few weeks ago, I was at a show and this little girl in the front row kept getting onto the stage. The parents thought it was "adorable", but after several performers almost ran into her, an usher finally had to say something to the parents. I definately think her parents should have done something about it. I think that people like that are the reason why some adults get so annoyed with kids in public.
I found you through McMama's forum. I feel your pain about being judged for taking kids in public. Whenever I go anywhere I go with 5-6 in tow. The oldest of the kids is 6yrs old. I hate the "are they all yours?" comment. I do child care and so no, pretty obviously, no, they are not all biologically mine. But it is not your business. :) I appreciated your comments on McMama's forum. When you take your circus out, you can be comforted by the fact that I have my circus out too. And yes that is my 2 yr old moping the floor with his tongue. :) I'm doing my best. Thank you.
I have mixed emotions about this, but have been leaning more towards your side. I'm OK with kids not being allowed to go to a fancy restaurant. I wouldn't want to take my children there.
But, I think society is starting to view children as a nuisance and I don't think that's a good direction. And if they ban kids, all loud people should be banned too. :)
Girl, you are such a good mom! I'm with you on all points! We don't have any talk about that kind of thing down here thank goodness!!!
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