The Trip From Hell: The Final Chapter

Normally, when I travel, at least one leg of the trip is bad. Sometimes really bad. Sometimes historically so. But typically it's only one half. I almost used to hope for the "bad" to happen at the beginning so that I could relax and enjoy the rest of my vacation/trip. And then this trip happened and it JUST.NEVER.ENDED!!

I finally started to feel human again the day before our return flight. (Sidenote: Bonus points to anyone who knows which Disney movie has a song in it called "Human Again"). I loaded up the kids in the double stroller and decided to take a walk around the marina at our resort (Old Key West). I made it down to the pier; the water was in my sight...and my cell phone rang.

We had been keeping an eye on the local weather (meaning our hometown weather - which was currently making national weather news - back when the weather channel reported, you know, WEATHER). It was cold and there was a snowstorm heading in. Predictably, it would arrive at the same time our flight was scheduled to leave. But that wasn't the worst of it.

Also during this time it was bitter cold back home. My Aunt Jo had been stopping by our place periodically to pick up our mail and check on the house. The cell phone call was because the furnace had stopped working. It was 58 degrees inside.

I went back to the room to talk to Mr. MOTH about how we should handle it. He has what you would call a short-temper. And this was the last straw on a very strong camel's back. He was not happy (understatement of the century right there, folks). We decided to have her call the furnace people and then someone would wait for them to come and fix it. I tried to call her back and I got a busy signal. At this point, I knew things were going to get worse. She didn't have a cell at the time, so I called the neighbors and asked their 14-year-old daughter to check on my aunt and tell her to PUT THE PHONE ON THE HOOK. (It actually was on the hook. I hate our phone.) BUT my aunt had left to go and use a phone down the road. It went from bad to worse. I asked my mom and brother (and his then-girl) to wait so that no one was there alone in a blizzard with strange men fixing the furnace.

So, a few hundred bucks later, the furnace was working (theoretically). But, as expected, our return flight was delayed - I think it was 3 hours - which meant we got back to our airport around 1 AM. By the time Mr. MOTH went to get the car all 3 kids were sleeping. I was waiting for him in passenger pick-up with all of our luggage (minus the car seats). He pulled up and came to get us...and a police officer - not airport security - told him he couldn't park there. I went ape-shit crazy. Somehow, I managed to pull, carry, shove, push and otherwise maneuver 12308584 bags + 3 sleeping kids out the door and to our vehicle just in time to see him pull away. I'll call that the only stroke of luck on this vacation because I'm pretty sure I'd still be serving time for what I would have done.

And we're about to do it all again. Bring on the hurricanes! (I'm talking about the beverage here, please).